It’s time for our second edition of #MotherhoodMonday and it’s a little bit heavier hitting than last week. We’re going to be sharing our Motherhood Misconceptions. I’ll be totally honest, I really struggled with this one. I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to write about, but it would include sharing some personal details which I don’t usually talk about publicly, and haven’t remotely touched here on the blog yet. So much credit goes to the supportive group of ladies that I’m teaming up with each week, as they had nothing but kind encouraging words for me. After prayerful consideration I’d like to share with you a Motherhood Misconception that I’ve personally dealt with a lot ever since we announced our third pregnancy, and then the birth of this incredible little boy.
As many of you know, I’m so amazingly blessed to be the mother of a 15 year old, an 11 year old, and a newly turned 1 year old. I bet you have a good idea of where I’m headed already. Of course we received plenty of well wishes, love, and support when we started to share with others that we were expecting the newest addition to our family. We also got some of the “was this planned”, “oops”, and by perfect strangers “do all three have the same father.” It seems that when you have a sizable age gap between children that some people come up with all sorts of ideas and assumptions as to why that is.
Was the 10+ age gap which exists between our two youngest children planned, no it wasn’t, but it certainly wasn’t unplanned either. We actually had more than our fair share of fertility issues, and even though we tried to have a third baby 5+ years earlier than we actually did, in no way was #3 an oops. In our family, no child would ever be an oops. After many failed fertility treatments, we had to start to come to terms with the idea that our family was complete with the two beautiful children which we were already blessed to have. We wanted a third child so badly, and every cycle that passed, and every negative test I took, the revelation that maybe our ship had sailed, and that maybe the baby stage of our lives had already passed. In no way do I want to compare this pain and sense of loss with those moms who aren’t able to have children of their own at all, but it was still such a difficult time of grieving, eventually through a lot of tears and heartache, I did however come to a place of acceptance.
God, who is always faithful had a different plan and a different set of timing then we did. Much to our utter shock and in complete awe of his divine providence we did indeed go on to have a third child. An incredible, beautiful, baby boy who has brought such love, joy, and laughter to our family. It’s absolutely glorious to see our older children interact with him, with each passing day they enjoy him more and more. Our 11 year old son couldn’t be prouder to have a brother, and yes, he may be counting the days until he is old enough to learn to play catch or kick a soccer ball with him, but he’s equally excited counting the amount of consecutive steps which he is starting to take. Have you ever watched a teenager marvel at a baby? Sure, it might have took our high school aged daughter a little bit of time to wrap her brain around the idea of our family expanding, but it’s absolutely breathtaking and beautiful to watch them interact. He is thrilled beyond belief when she walks through the door after school, and in no time at all he is sitting on her lap laughing and smiling at her.
Children our such an incredible blessing no matter if they are born with less than a year between one another or more than 10 years apart. When I have shared our story with those who have asked “was this planned”, it doesn’t take long for them to get a humble and sometimes even sheepish look, or to then exclaim “how wonderful that things worked out for you then,” when really all that should have every been said was “how wonderful”, “congratulations”, “I’m happy for you”, or “what a blessing!”
We all have a story to tell and unique perspective to share from. Make sure to check out all of the other #MotherhoodMonday posts from these fabulous ladies: